Lying on Tours

Sometimes tour guides get bored of their own material. Because let's face it, history isn't always interesting. And after the fifth kid asks you, "Why is this place so boring?"...you kind of want to step up your material.

Some personal examples I have heard from co-workers:

Reality - There is a parking lot.
Tour Version - There is a parking lot, but beneath it is a grave site - Native Americans, Civil War soldiers, and Nazis are secretly buried here.

Reality - This used to be a helicopter pad.
Tour Version - A Coast Guard helicopter crashed into this apartment building in the middle of the night.

Reality - Nothing happened.
Tour Version - We saved the muthafuckin' world.

Hey, we have to make ourselves seem SOMEWHAT important. Otherwise GameBoy will win every time.

So I was in a sex shop in SoHo and came across this lovely vibrator. You can hook it up to your iPod and it actually vibrates in tune with the song. The heavier the beat, the more intense the vibration. I played with the display one. "Enter Sandman" is an extremely hardcore song.

Maybe next paycheck...?