Jeez.

I can't believe Iggy actually went to see if mypussy.com was real.

C'mon now.

Alright, so...it's come to my attention that we all need to get over the rock thing.

I'm trying to install my printer and it's not working. I'm so so so bad with technology that it's not even funny.

Thanks for my job, I now watch the History Channel when they talk about the Revolutionary War. I caught myself screaming, "Retreat, George Washington, RETREAT!" at the television set. And keep in mind I was doing this INSTEAD OF hanging with friends/doing homework/absolutely anything else.

But seriously, those guys were hardcore. Radical for their time. When taxes went up for them, they decided to form their own nation. When taxes go up for us, we just bend over a little more.

Our founding fathers are turning in their graves!

Dear Ones...

I HAVE REJOINED THE MODERN AGE!

Youtube! Google! Facebook! Mypussy.com! Return to me!

I dunno if mypussy.com is a real site...

so, for my job, I had on my archive list...a rock. A rock. I was supposed to take a picture of this rock, give it a number, seal it in a zippy bag, and archive it with like, old civil war diaries. Because somehow, this rock had historical significance.

You know what I did?

I put the rock outside. Where rocks belong. It thanked me. It's having fun with its rock friends in rock-landia. It's having rock-parties under trees and things like that.

Jeez....

Thank you for everyone who liked my poem :) I am beginning the long rejection process. I already got one! :-) Just a million billion-1 to go!!!

:-) I'm a dork.

Slowww...

I love your words of encouragement. I started submitting query letters to authors. The writing of the book is actually the easy part...for me, at least. Publishing can take TWICE as long. Thank you. I feel better with every positive word - the publishing world is full of form letters and impersonal rejections, rejections that make me think, "They didn't even read my letter. They don't care who I am."

This is coming from someone who has written several books and has failed to get them in print :-(

So thank you, my faithful, fellow bloggers!

I decided to put a poem up here before putting any of my story, just to see if anyone lies my style.

Cows

She wants to start buying
cows
and storing them in a freezer because
it's cheaper than buying meat at King Kullen.
"Think how much money we'll save,"
she says,
"if we buy whole cows off the Internet "

She gets her measuring tape and marks lines here and there
"If we get those stackable
washer and drier combos...
And take out this counter
then we'll have room for an industrial-sized
freezer
to store whole cows
and in two to three years,
it'll pay for itself "

But she measured wrong,
so now the freezer is in
her step-son's bedroom and the
dead, skinned cows hang by their feet.
He thinks they watch him sleep.

He thinks they watch him sleep.







Loosely based on a true story...

Publishing

So now for the process of agents and query letters.

I have to get my book into tip-top shape. Then I have to write "pitch" letters to various agents. I will get rejected a million billion times. Then, if one of the agents likes my pitch, he/she will ask for a synopsis, or summary, of the book. Then THAT will be rejected a million billion times.

Then finally, maybe, kinda sorta, an agent will ask for the WHOLE manuscript. And then I will have to sneak into my school library really early in the morning and print out the damn thing using school paper and printers.

Then I will mail it. 

And then it will be rejected.

A million billion times.

Then, even if I get an agent, there is no guarantee that the agent will be able to sell my book to a publisher. It's like, a whole other process.

Thus is the process of trying to get published.

Helpppp...

In other news, at work I had to put "no smoking" signs in buildings no one has access to. That's right. So in case anyone illegally breaks into these buildings, they will know not to smoke. But honestly, I don't think that type of person will care.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!




I was wearing this for over an hour before my boss noticed.

Hey, at least I know he'll never ever try to hit on me or anything weird.

I even talked to him. Gave him his keys. Made him sign something. Didn't even notice.

Jess gave me an award...but I can't figure out what I'm supposed to do. But. THANK YOU. I am honored. Help my sorry ass.

The book needs to be edited...massive quantities of editing. I'm debating whether or not I should put excerpts up. On the one hand, I want feedback, but on the other, I'm very shy...and I don't want to put up a lot of stuff, because people really don't enjoy reading very very long blogs.

I'll let the polls decide! Hey...it worked for OBAMA :-D